The 'Normal' Life of a Secret Genius
by Athena465
Summary: 5 languages, several PhD degrees Kensi Blye is without a doubt the smartest person in the world. However she has always been an outcast and her dad's death led her to the wrong crowd on the streets. She escapes them and runs into Hetty who takes her under her wing. Now working at OSP she struggles keeping her secrets but that 'wrong crowd' is back and want their genius girl back AU
1. Normal?

**First off I am excited about this new story idea that was brought up to me, and this first chapter is setting the basis of Genius Kensi. There will be references to CSI: Cyber, but just references. I will toy with scorpion only if I can incorporate them in smoothly. I also won't immediately jump to the gritty stuff until maybe ch. 3 merely because I want to show how hard Kensi struggles with her secret.**

 **Without further ado, my new story.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **The 'Normal' Life of a Secret Genius**

Chapter 1

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

I wake slowly to the sounds of birds chirping out of my window and the sun is barely peeking over the horizon. Without looking at the clock I know the time, 5:30. Sometimes being smarter than everybody has its perks, not once in the entirety of my life have I needed an alarm clock, thank everything too that screeching noise is like nails on a chalkboard. I shudder thinking of both noises as I twist my legs over the side of my bed sitting up and looking looking over my room once; gun still in place, shoes still in place, every tiny thing in my room hasn't moved…it never moves. But the organized chaos is a soothing mess, let's me escape my always running thoughts. Deeks still just calls me a hoarder…oh if he only knew.

Moving to start the day I shower, brush my teeth and dress for another work day at OSP. On the way I switch my station over to some classical piano pieces, music that Deeks is to never know I listen too, that no one on my team needs to know.

As I drive I am lost within memories of my childhood. Always moving from school to school because of my dad's job, and under the suggestion of my dad, I should embrace my knowledge, not keep people out. So I did because I trusted him and for it I was teased, not only for being a genius but for my eyes, for years I was called freak, werido, idiot genius (that one still doesn't make sense to me) and any other combination of names that young children could come up with. It wasn't until high school that the teasing took a physical turn. Now being a Marine brat I knew how to defend myself to the point of using deadly force but I reasoned that they just didn't understand, and they feared what they did not understand, so I let them shove me, let them punch me, hoping and praying that we were to move soon.

Pulling up to OSP I stay in the SRX, something is bothering me…some emotion, I do not do well with emotion, a side effect of a genius mind. It is this side effect that I use to justify keeping Deeks at arms-length, to keep him from touching me. But whatever is swirling around in my chest isn't what I feel around Deeks no this feels…like restriction…. Something that is becoming more and more common…I do not like it one bit.

My phones alarm blares next to me shocking me from my swirling thoughts. Picking it up I see a notification _6:30 talk with Hetty._

Then it clicks, I usually get in early on Wednesday's to chat with Hetty, the only member of OSP that knows just how smart I am, the only person I can talk too and be myself. Amongst my never stopping thoughts such a mundane task gets lost, hence my reminder.

Pushing out of my SRX I quickly jog to the Mission doors taking in the silence…I never liked silence it made my thoughts deafening made them turn to my time one the street…. Jogging through the halls I see Hetty already at her desk with two tea cups, a tradition since I was seventeen.

"Hetty, sorry I am late…"

"Do not bother Kensi, I know how it is." Her words are soft and understanding as she used my first name, this is the only time she uses it, a deal we made years ago when I started at OSP. "Please sit and let us talk."

I take my usual seat and grasp the cup, the liquid warming the decorated glass, the swirls and twists of the flowers entrances me as I spot imperfections in the paint and all the ways that the maker could improve for better quality. When those thoughts run dry I think of ways that I could expand on the simple image ways to make it better….

"Kensi?" Hetty's soft voice wakes me from my wandering thoughts. I look up at her and smile sheepishly, even though I know she understands. "So has there been any…improvements on your, well what you call condition?"

I shake my head sighing. I told Hetty a few months ago about my fear of being touched or touching others, weird since I am a Federal agent, but the anger I feel at touch means I can easily subdue suspects. "No, I still can't stand to be touched and I still fail to understand why, I mean I am a doctor and psychologist for god sakes I should know, I had a decent childhood, my parents never hit me…"

"But the kids in your schools did Kensi," she says softly and I laugh bitterly.

"What does it matter Hetty, out of hundreds of people who know, you and my father were the only ones who understood, who didn't look at me like I am a freak with mismatched eyes, my own mother couldn't even look at me half of the time. Even when I was on the streets, those…men merely used my brain…" I trail off before shaking that thought away. "When I am in a room surrounded by the smartest people in the world I am still looked at like a freak…It is why I keep it quiet from the team, they are the only family I have…I can't risk that." I trail off quietly thinking of what would happen should the team realize who I am really.

Looking back up to Hetty I see sadness taint her eyes, something that I am causing, I am the cause of her sadness. "Kensi, they love you, but it is not the whole team you are worried about, is it?" I merely shake my head avoiding her eyes. "It is Mr. Deeks? What makes him so different?"

I shrug. "I do not know…"

"I call bullshit," I can't stop the chuckle from her swearing but she continues. "You know everything, quite literally. You have PhD's in forensic and clinical psychology and Human Services and you are telling me you 'don't know'? I see the way you look at him Kensi, it is why you try so hard to get over your fear of being touched…."

"Aphephobia: Fear of touching or being touched…." I softly say almost whispering it. Hetty only smiles. "I will admit…only to you," I say lifting a single finger. "That it may be why I… punch him, he doesn't really do anything to annoy me as much as I may let on." I shrug half-heartedly. "It gets… tiring pretending to be normal… to be Bad-Ass Blye"

"You don't have to pretend Kensi…"

"Yes I do," I say harshly. "When I worked with the FBI's Cyber division I was…I was excluded in everything. I could solve an entire case alone, and they were happy to not be working with me. I was never asked to join in team outings…I was once again an outcast. For the first time since my father died I am included and loved and I don't want that to change."

Hetty sighs I know she doesn't agree, this is the same conversation we have every Wednesday, and while it makes me tense it is alone time with Hetty, my second mother and I wouldn't trade it for the world. "You know that I do not agree with you but it is your choice."

And with the sound of Callen arriving our conversation becomes quiet and to slightly less tense topics. "So tell me how goes you classes?"

A smile touches my lips as I lean forward and lower my voice. "It is going great, my professor wants me to write my doctoral paper with him about ancient Greece, and I know the exact topic I want to write."

She chuckles "And this is for you PhD in History? What of your Masters in sociology?"

"Finished, graduation is next Friday, you are coming yes?"

"Of course I wouldn't miss it for anything, you know that. What time should I get there?" she asked but I knew that she already knew, it was always the same no matter the college no matter the degree, but I answered anyway.

"Best to get there by 6, the ceremony starts at 7." I say mindful of Callen walking towards us.

"I am so proud of you, will you move up to the PhD?" I shake my head ending the conversation as Callen takes his seat next to me.

"What are you two whispering about?" he asks, his voice betraying the serious curiosity in his eyes. I turn to Hetty, I didn't know how to handle this situation, and usually Callen stays at his desk ignoring us.

Thankfully Hetty senses the discomfort radiating off of me and interjects. "Merely talking about this week's events and the previous case." Vague and not at all true. I never once look over at Callen, as I try to pull back from the usual openness I feel in Hetty's office.

"What of the last case?" Now he is fishing.

"Just what we thought of the suspects, nothing more. Now if you both will excuse me I am going to the gym." Walking away I know that I didn't handle that very well, there was too much of the real me in my voice, too much truth.

 **Callen's P.O.V**

Walking into the Mission on Wednesday I once again see Kensi sitting in Hetty's desk, I never knew what they spoke about, but it was the same every week, Kensi would be tense when I would first walk in, and then like someone flipped a switched she would lean forward and smile. I could never distinguish their words.

I sit down and try to not think about what they are talking about, but when I hear Kensi laugh, really laugh I can't take the curiosity anymore. I slowly start walking towards them and I hear their voices get even lower the closer I get.

"What are you two whispering about?" I ask taking my seat, I try to keep my voice light but I know Kensi sees the seriousness in my eyes, born operator.

"Merely talking about this week's events and the previous case." Vague and not at all true, I know Hetty is lying but I can't help myself as I push further, only vaguely aware that Kensi is incredibly next to me.

"What of the last case?" I ask innocently.

"Just what we thought of the suspects, nothing more. Now if you both will excuse me I am going to the gym." I twist in my chair watching her walk away. Something in her words, or maybe they were her words, she sounded different.

"Is Kensi okay?" I ask concerned about my female agent.

"Ms. Blye is alright, just a sleepless night." Her words seem practiced… rehearsed.

"What were you really talking about Hetty?" I ask looking at Kensi's empty tea cup. Looking back up to Hetty when she doesn't answer, I see no one. "Damn ninja," I mutter walking back to my desk seeing Sam putting his bag under his desk.

"What were you talking about with Hetty?"

I shake my head. "Know how Kensi and Hetty talk quietly with each other every Wednesday?"

"Yea, they are sometimes still talking when I come in." he crosses his arms and stands before me in the center of the bullpen.

"Well this morning I decided to walk up while they were still talking. And Kensi got up in a rush to head towards the gym…"

"That is where she usually goes after talking with Hetty," he interrupts matter of factly.

"But then I asked Hetty if she was okay and do you know what she said?" he shakes his head. "That Kensi merely had a sleepless night."

At that Sam's arms fell to his side in shock. "Kensi doesn't have sleepless nights, and if she does she doesn't let anyone else know about, hence Bad-Ass Blye… or so Deeks calls her."

"What do I call who?"

"Bad-ass Blye." Callen simply says.

"Oh yea, where is my partner? Her SRX is outside." Sam and I both point towards the gym and that is where he heads to.

"God he is so much like a puppy." Sam laughs as we walk to our desks and start doing our paperwork and settle in for a long day. But no matter how hard I concentrate my mind still wanders to Kensi's strange behavior.

Hours later she and Deeks come walking back into the bullpen, him with a slight limp. "Damn Deeks, did Kensi whoop your ass….again?" Sam asks, but I don't look at Deeks I watch Kensi instead. Now she looks like herself, ribbing on Deeks like usual. No formal speak, no dangerous edge to her voice like this morning…

"Callen are you alright?" Kensi asks, tilting her head to the side slightly.

"Yea, no I'm good." I clear my throat, embarrassed that I was caught staring. I see her eyes narrow dangerously but Deeks' voice distracts her.

And just like that everything does back to normal. Just your average paperwork day…until tomorrow at least…

 **A. Grayson**


	2. The Middle of the Beginning

**so I kind of want to make this story update a Sunday update, but we all know how that goes, I either get distracted by my other stories that I know are so far behind or I hit a road block. But stay with me, I will get all of my stories completed…one day**

 **Here we see a bit of Kensi and Hetty's back story and a bit of concerned Deeks.**

 **Enjoy.**

 **The Middle of the Beginning**

Chapter 2

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

Friday was finally here, my…oh I lost count of how many graduations I have had over the years, the number no doubt was high, sometimes I had the right to 'toot my own horn' as Hetty says.

I find myself standing in the empty bullpen long after the team had left leaving only Hetty and I. I stand there in a simple navy blue dress and heels with my graduation gown on with tassels hanging around my neck. I wait patiently for Hetty to show up and announce it is time to go, so while I wait I stand between all of the desks and merely look at them.

Callen's is next to mine, somewhere between neat and slight messiness, whereas Sam's is neat and operational, with a few paper swans lining the side. Then I look over at my partner's desk. And it seems that no matter how hard I try to stop myself I find my feet slowly clicking their way towards his desk.

As I sit in his chair I take a deep breath and taking in his scent of ocean and something distinctly manly and it warms my heart. The nerves I felt earlier are gone as I look over his desk; a mixture of LAPD and NCIS case files and a photo…of me…of me and him.

Picking up the photo I see that it is the two of us during one of our team night outs. The whole night I was tense, not wanting to be in large crowds and have to pretend to be 'the best first date girl in town' I had just wanted my ice cream and my mess. And upon sensing my discomfort and more than likely thinking it was because of the case Deeks stuck by my side the whole night. The photo was taken at the precise moment that he made me laugh, really laugh. I didn't notice it that night but looking at the photo I see the pride in Deeks' eyes. Whether that pride is from making me laugh or just making me feel better, I do not know, but it warmed my heart.

But the thought quickly vanished. What use was this warm feeling when I couldn't stand his touch? What use was it that I couldn't be hugged or comforted like a normal woman? What use was any of these…feelings if he doesn't know all of me like he thinks he does?

Setting the photo down where it was I stand up and quickly move away from his desk and back to the entrance of the bullpen.

"You look fabulous my dear," Hetty spoke walking up in an impeccable power suit. She looked me over with a proud smile.

"Thank you Hetty," I glance up and take in that we are completely alone. "Mom," I say with a warm smile.

At my words, like the thousands of times I have said it since she came into my life, her eyes got teary and a small smile played upon her features. When I jumped her front gate at 16 getting away from a… bad group of people… she took me in, even knowing that I was different and treated me like a daughter. She paid for my private high school education, music lessons, college…and I could never express how happy I was that it was her fence I jumped, not because of the money, but because I felt safe, I felt free to be me.

"Come my dear, it is time to go or you will be late." Without touching me she ushered me outside and into the crisp LA evening. "FBI escort and driver this evening." She says as we push into the back of a SUV with a man behind the wheel.

"Last time it was DEA," I joke as we set off. A different driver from alternating agencies from other states…Hetty's idea. She figured that it would minimize the chances of my team from learning the truth about my intelligence.

My answer from her was a slight chuckle and just like that the rest of the drive was menial conversation that had no substance, just a mother and a daughter strengthening an already strong bond.

 _The following Monday…_

I walk into the Mission…late. And let me tell you this I hated it, despised it even. I was the smartest person in LA (sometimes modesty is a gift) I shouldn't be late, but more so I knew I would have to endure the endless teasing. And that is exactly what I got.

"Well look who finally decided to show up to work with us mere mortals!" Deeks shouted from his desk causing me to wince. "Oh Kens, 'nother bad date?" he asked.

"Or good, if those circles under your eyes are any indication." Sam chimed in.

Sighing as I sit down I hear Sam and Callen snicker but Deeks is quiet, strange. "Well just because he was a bad date doesn't mean he wasn't good at fu….."

"Okay!"

"Alright!"

Sam and Callen yell while waving their arms frantically. "No need to share Kensi," Callen says. "Come on partner let's take these files to Nell, see what she can get out of them." Sam, who still looks scared quickly nods his head and rushes out of the bullpen.

Well that was two men diverted, but I knew that Deeks would be harder, he had this irritating ability to see through the bullshit I used to get away with.

I spent a few minutes on a case file before a shadow fell over my desk. "Need something Deeks?" his hands appearing in my vision.

"The truth would be nice, partner." Looking up I know that my story didn't work on him, but I feigned ignorance.

"Whatever are you talking about Deeks?"

I hear him sigh above me, a sound that caused me to look up at him, he was so close… _please don't touch me…please don't touch me…_

"Come on Kens, I know that you haven't had a date in months, so why are you really late?" he tilted his head, and I find myself fighting to control the urge to run my hands through his hair… wait how does he know that!? I have given no indication that I haven't been on dates.

I shrug, "And how would you know that Deeks? You keeping tabs on me?" my voice is even and cold, I need to control this situation, I need him to back away because I want nothing more than to tell him everything right down to the fact that yes I haven't had a date in months, because it is too much work explaining to a one night stand that they can't touch me, and that it takes everything in me to touch them. I may be the smartest person on this planet but god damnit I am still a woman and I have needs.

But along with explaining that there is no touching aloud I also have to deal with the aftermath when I leave wherever we happen to be. A panic attack or even losing my dinner…tends to put a damper on ones post-coital bliss don't you think?

"Of course you are my partner Kensi, and something has been bothering you and you aren't telling me." I can't help but feel defensive towards his statement… _does he know? He can't know, I have been so careful, I have dumbed myself down to the point that I almost believe it myself…_

"There is nothing to tell Deeks, I am fine." _Ha! And you're also the queen of freaking England!_

Looking up at him I see a flash of hurt and a bit of anger course through his blue eyes, and the guilt I feel is automatic.

Maybe I should tell him, I mean he won't think less of me will he? I mean he feels something more than partnership…right? I can see it in his eyes, but what if I am fooling myself, I mean I have never been good at emotions, receiving or feeling them myself. I want so badly to tell him, to be with him, but the horrors of my past continue to haunt me and will forever haunt me, and that is no life for such a good man.

No he deserves someone like him, someone who can make him happy and smile while being themselves. He doesn't need or want a freak like me.

"You are lying Kensi." He states and I see him stand up straight, still looking down at me, our eyes locked and I fear that he will see my own fear and self-loathing, I quickly advert my eyes. "When you are ready to tell me what is going on inside that head of yours let me know, and I will listen. I will always be here for you."

He walks away towards his desk and I open my mouth…and oh dear god words come out…why do words come out.

"You won't always be here Deeks, people leave me when I let them in, and it seems to be the running trend in my life." He whips around and stares at me with wide eyes, almost like he couldn't believe I said something…something so close to the real me that I felt my heartrate increase.

"I'm not like everyone else, you know that." _I am not like everyone else either._ "You can trust me Kensi, you know that right?"

Staring into his eyes I nod and stand up. Again he looks shocked as I walk towards the couch and sit down. "I had a nightmare last night." I may not be able to give him the whole truth but I can give him a glimpse into my past with carefully constructed words. Silently he sits down, not to close yet close enough that I can feel his body heat.

"About what?" he asks gently.

"About my time on the street," I look down ashamed, the images of the dream resurfacing. I squeeze my eyes shut as the sounds of gunshots ring out… a burning sensation takes over my hand and I know he is touching me but…but I can't deal with that. I yank my hand away and take a deep breath. "I did some pretty awful things while I was living on the streets, I stole, and I mugged people. But I had to survive…"

"You did what you had to," he said, looking up I can see he was fighting the urge to touch me but my previous withdrawal made him wary, thank god for the simple pleasures.

I nod in consent. "Yea, but every now and then I have nightmares about that time…about what I did…what I saw and heard others do…" _because of me…_ I was venturing to close to the truth, to close to myself. "But I survived and here I am." I open my arms wide gesturing to OSP. I see Hetty watching our interaction with a small smile. After a few quiet minutes I can't take it anymore, to many conflicting thoughts, thoughts fighting for dominance between the fall of the Spartan empire, math theories, and criminal statistics and whether this was a positive step towards allowing touch…

Luckily Hetty comes to my rescue and asks to speak to Deeks about something. As she trails behind Deeks she looks back at me with a bit of mischief in her aging eyes…oh lord what is she cooking up now… I shake my head and stretch out on the couch, knowing I can rest for a few minutes.

 **Hetty's P.O.V**

I watch on as Kensi talks to Deeks, making the appropriate steps to letting the young man in…learning to enjoy the simple act of touch, something no young woman should have to endure. A few silent minutes have gone by and I can see it is making Kensi's thoughts jumbled and distracted. I stand up and walk over to them and clear my throat. Deeks noticed my presence as soon as I walked into the bullpen but Kensi was so far lost in her thoughts, a common sight when she is alone.

"Mr. Deeks my I have a word with you?" he nods and I see Kensi question me with her eyes, so I give a small smile and head back to my office.

"So what did you need me for Hetty?" I remain silent, pondering my chosen words, and whether they were safe enough to not let on to my daughter's intelligence, for that was not my secret to tell, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't hint that there was indeed a secret to be told.

"We all have secrets Mr. Deeks." I state simply causing him to freeze before turning to look at Kensi who was resting on the couch.

"Kensi?" I nod. "I knew there was something… I've known for a while…why won't she tell me?" he turns back to me with pleading eyes.

"Though she may never admit this to anyone she is scared of the repercussions." Well she wouldn't admit it to anyone but me. "I have one request of you Mr. Deeks."

"Anything." His immediate response makes me feel that I did the right thing by making him Kensi's partner all of those years ago.

"Keep showing her that you are there for her, even when she is hating herself, show her that you would never think less of her. Ms. Blye has had a hard life, and it has caused… certain side-effects."

"She doesn't like to be touched. I noticed a few months into the partnership, she never touches people and doesn't let others touch her."

"Very astute Mr. Deeks."

"Why though?"

"That, I am afraid, is not my story to tell. She will tell you in time, but you must give her said time or she will pull away for good. She has to know that you will never think less of her merely because she is broken."

Deeks stares at me, his eyes serious and warm, and if there is anyone who can break through to Kensi the genius it is Marty Deeks. "You know her story don't you?"

I nod and simply say, "I came in somewhere around the middle of the beginning of her story…

 _Flashback to a 16 year old Kensi…_

 _ **Hetty's P.O.V**_

 _I was alerted to an intruder on my grounds by the flashing red lights. Switching my computer on I see a young, haggard looking girl, with brown, almost black hair cascading down her back. She looked hungry and in desperate need of a shower…and scared. She looked terrified and a second later I saw a group of men ranging from 25 to maybe 14 running in front of my front gate, with weapons in their hands. Their voices made the young girl wince and curl deeper into herself._

 _A few seconds later the group of men rounded the corner and disappeared. I quickly shut my laptop off and quickly made my way out my front door. The image on the screen did nothing to justify the state this young woman was in, I mean she couldn't have been any older than 16. I walk slowly and cautiously up to her and when I was close enough I knelt in front of her._

 _She looked up and I was met with mismatched eyes red and swollen from tears and a deep ugly gash on her forehead. "Come let's get you cleaned up and fed." I quickly learned that when I moved to touch her she would shy away, so while tending to her wound I kept my fingers from touching her, merely using a soft towel to secure the butterfly band aid over the wound._

 _Without saying another word I set a bowl of soup before her and watched as she contemplated eating. "Eat my dear, you look starved." She nodded and lifted the spoon timidly. "Go on, I mean you no harm." And just like that she devoured the bowl before talking for the first time that evening._

 _"Do you have anything sweet?"_

 _"I do, but it is a secret that no one can know about." I say lightly causing the young girl to smile. Turning towards the kitchen I think that there is too much pain and sadness behind such a beautiful smile. I hand her a box and I hear her laugh, such a warm laugh._

 _"Twinkie's, my favorite," her voice is hoarse when she speaks but I understand her nonetheless._

 _After she has eaten two Twinkies I ask, "Do you have a name my dear?"_

 _"Kensi…Kensi Marie Blye. Yours?"_

 _"Henrietta Lange, but call me Hetty Ms. Blye." She nods._

 _"Then you must call me Kensi," she says. "Why are you being so nice to me? I mean I jumped your fence, I could be waiting for the perfect time to rob you." I see the curiosity in her eyes so I merely smile._

 _"Because a girl on the run from a group of men doesn't rob someone who is giving them shelter." She consents. "Where are your parents Kensi?"_

 _"Father's dead, mother…well she doesn't want me, she doesn't know how to 'handle' me." She says bitterly. "She says that I am a handful." She clears her throat and sits up straighter and looking around my home. Her eyes settle on the depiction of the Birth of Venus hanging on the wall. "Did you know that before she was Venus and was Aphrodite she caused the Trojan War, and that the statue Venus de Milo, was crafted and found in Greece but holds her Roman name…" she trails off wringing her hands together in what must be a nervous tick._

 _"I know many things, but that I did not know Kensi." I say taking her in, she was intelligent, but just how intelligent remained to be seen…._

 **A. Grayson**


	3. Petty Thievery to Murder

**This Sunday's update is a bit late due to the 4** **th** **of July. But good news, next week's chapter is done and the one after that is halfway done.**

 **This is mostly a short filler chapter, we get to the good stuff next chapter so stay tuned.**

 **Enjoy**

 **Petty Thievery to Murder**

Chapter 3

 **Deeks' P.O.V**

"I came in somewhere around the middle of the beginning." Hetty said.

I watch as Hetty smiles wistfully as if remembering a long ago memory that she shared with Kensi. And I try not to be jealous at my boss knowing about Kensi's secret, I mean I am her partner. But I know now that I can rest peacefully at night knowing that Kensi has someone to talk to even if it isn't me. But still I am a Detective, and I want to know what happened that was so bad that Kensi hates to be touched. Quickly I learned that when she would fight with a suspect it wasn't just her need to bring them in that always ensured she would kick their ass but something else, something in her eyes; a mixture of anger, disgust and fear. That was what made her so good at her job, she wanted these… criminals to stop touching her more than she wanted them in handcuffs.

"Now are we clear Mr. Deeks?" she asks before sipping her tea from god knows where.

"Completely," I sneak another glance over my shoulder to Kensi and see that she went from merely resting to sleeping. "I just want her to trust me."

"She does, but it is a struggle for her to trust her trust in you, a struggle to trust herself." And with that I know I am dismissed. I walk quietly into the bullpen so as not to wake up Kensi. Her sleeping gave credit to her being kept up all night by a one night stand, and the fact that I knew differently made me smile a bit. She may not trust me enough to tell me everything or even let me touch her but she did trust me enough to let me know the real reason for her being late…

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

 _"Come on genius girl type faster if you don't want a bullet in that pretty little head of yours!" I was hunched over a computer that was far too dirty to be considered useable while Johnny the resident gunslinger held a loaded gun to my head…how I got to this low point, where a 17 year old boy is holding a gun to my 16 year old head… okay that is a lie, this was my own fault._

 _For about a year I shacked up with these people, most were men but there was one other female but she was always high as a kite and spreading her legs for the men in the group that I never really bothered to interact with her, plus she kept the men occupied with her and not me._

 _A year I had hacked, and given important information for this group of outcasts so that they could efficiently and quietly carry out numerous crimes, never taking a life or for that matter even coming face to face with another human while they committed crimes…and that was all because of me, their resident genius._

 _They weren't nice but they weren't violent towards me either…sometimes after a good day and they drank too much they got to handsy…and sometimes I pushed them away and sometimes I didn't. I am not proud of that, but he, Johnny the only one to ever see me that way, was offering me safety, and release, and human contact…even though it wasn't pleasant contact, no doubt the origin of my fear of being touched._

 _And for a year everything was good, until an unknown variable threw itself into the equation. The group went out to rob a rich man's house. The man lived there with his wife of 15 years with their 9 year old daughter. The house was supposed to be empty…empty. The daughter caught an illness at school and so her and the mother were in the house when the robbery went down._

 _I just remember Johnny yelling at me telling me to type faster to shut the home security off to prevent the police from showing up but I was seizing, something wasn't right…I could feel it in the pit of my stomach._

 _And when the rest of the outcasts showed up I knew that I was right, the leader of our group, Henry, walked in covered in blood with splashes of it lining his face making the scowl on his face even more menacing._

 _"What the fuck happened," he yelled stalking towards me. But I was a Marines daughter, I wasn't going to be intimidated by a low-level thug who wasn't much older than myself. "You said the house would be empty, did you fucking set this up?"_

 _"No!" I yelled right back. "It was an unknown variable hidden amongst their everyday schedule! How would I know that the girl would get sick?!" I felt and heard the harsh slap land on my cheek, but instead of intimidating me the way it would the crack whore it only served to enrage me. "Piss off Henry, I have done everything you asked of me! And I make one…ONE mistake and you think it is the end of the world. I have given you my brain and this is what I get!"_

 _"One mistake led to the wife receiving a bullet in her head!" Henry bellowed and I felt the breath escape my lungs unwillingly. Oh dear god…my mistake led to a woman's murder…I went from assisting petty thieves to… to this?!_

 _I shook my head and threw on my jacket, I had to get away, far away before I lost my lunch. "I didn't sign up for murder, I am through, I would rather live on the street than deal with this shit." I growled. But as I walked away I felt hands grab a fistful of my hair, and instinctively I knew it was Johnny. "You're not leaving genius girl. You are far too valuable." Johnny viciously whispered in my ear before shoving me against a wall effectively knocking me out._

 _The next time I woke up I was locked in a room, with blood caked onto my face from a gash on my forehead and only brought out when the group needed my brain or when Johnny needed something more than my brain…._

I was jolted awake not by my own scream but from a loud whistle coming from the stairs. I watched groggily and still stuck in my dream, as the guys ran up the stairs. Flipping my wrist I saw that it was past noon, I had slept for almost four hours.

Swinging my legs over onto the floor I rubbed the sleep from my eyesbefore running my finger over the scar on my forehead, the same scar that Hetty had tended to almost two weeks later.

Shaking my head I stood up, not as genius Blye, but Agent Blye and ran up to OPS to get started on the newest case.

 **A. Grayson**


	4. The Phone Call

**Busy weekend means little time to write and being in the middle of nowhere means no internet. But I bring to you a day late chapter with a bit of a small cliffhanger. Here we see Kensi's world start to fall apart around her.**

 **The Phone Call**

Chapter 4

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

If there was one thing I loved it was complicated cases that made me use more than 10% of my brain. And this week's case, though long, stimulated my brain and elevated my mood.

By the time the case was over I felt light and alive and on top of the world. So I walked in on Wednesday morning for my weekly cup of tea with Hetty. I plopped down with a huge smile on my face.

"You are smiling." Hetty said with laughter in her voice.

"I am, the last case was stimulating, although I think that I may have come to close to saying too much to the team." I said, the fear of revealing too much was overshadowed by my mental release to care. "I feel good, really good."

"Good enough to tell your team?" Hetty fished, her tone taking on that of a scolding mother.

I shake my head ready to say no, that that wasn't something that would ever happen when my phone rang in my back pocket. Fishing it out I read that the number is unknown. Tensing I look up to Hetty. "It's unknown. Do I answer it?'

She merely nods and I hit the answer button. "Hello?"

"Well, well, well, I finally found you Genius girl." I heard a raspy voice grate out my nickname from my time with the group of outcasts.

"I am sorry who is this?" I asked feigning ignorance.

I heard cold chuckling on the other side of the phone and knew instantly that it was Johnny, I had been there as his laughter went from somewhat comforting to cold and detached…nothing like Deeks'. "Don't be coy with me Kensi, I know your voice just as I know you know mine."

"What do you want," I ask coldly and I see Hetty tense beside me. Looking to her with hard eyes I nod, and she picks up her phone to call in the team who should almost be here to start the day. So much for my good mood.

"I want you, I want my little play thing back, I want that brain of yours back."

"Fat chance of that Johnny, I'm not your bitch anymore," I spit. "I have no time in my life for a bunch of petty criminals."

"Ha! You have been out of the loop for a long time genius girl. Henry, well he was happy where we were but me, well you know me, I like things rough and I like them done right. So I… neutralized him not long after you escaped and have been building a secure empire ever since, most of the original members are still here and they miss you, well except for Sara she overdosed a few years back and my men need a beautiful woman's touch." He laughed as though the crack whore's death was just a minor inconvenience. "The only thing that can make this thing truly work is you and that brain of yours. You know how cops think because of your precious daddy, you know how to point them out from a mile away. I need you Kensi." Every word he spoke was like a window into the past, but I knew the truth, I knew that his soft words hid the menacing gunslinger that he really was.

Thinking on it I know that at any point Deeks, with his childhood, could have ended up like Johnny or any other man in that group.

"Johnny," I sighed. "No, you are a criminal, I am not. I was a scared lonely little girl who was coerced into helping a criminal earn his riches. And what did I get in return? Huh? I got locked in a room and was only ever good enough when Henry needed my brain or you needed me to spread my legs. And I deluded myself into thinking that it meant something to you, but you know what I learned while I was locked in that room for two weeks? Was that you only cared when it was convenient to you." I was aware that the team was walking towards Hetty's office but I was too wrapped up in the conversation to take much notice of how close they were getting. Thankfully still too far to hear my little speech to Johnny, but a few seconds later they stopped in Hetty's office, their eyes watching my every move.

"Oh you know what I got out of all of that genius girl? That somewhere along the line, you fell in love. Oh this is rich, the scared little girl who hated to be touched has fallen in love. Tell me does he know just how smart you are. I wonder what you would do if I got my hands on him…"

"I swear if you fucking lay a finger on him I will make you regret it, I know you have not forgotten what a Marine's daughter can do, Johnny. I can ruin you physically and financially. I can taint you all over the web. Every whore across the country will know who you are and every cop will be looking for you. I. Will. Ruin. You." I growled through the phone, turning towards my team who were staring very intently at me with shock coloring their eyes and their mouths open in shock.

"I WILL get you back genius girl, I have my ways Agent Blye…" his cold voice saying my title sent shivers down my spine.

"How do you know I am an agent?" I whisper turning to Hetty, whose eyes widen and now she stands. I see a determination in her eyes that I hadn't really seen for years, the last time I had seen it she was fighting to claim custody of me.

"Oh don't tell me that intelligence of yours has gone to your head. You are not the only smart person in LA. We will speak again Kensi," and with that the phone line cuts off and I am standing there in a place where I used to feel safe…if I could see the fear on Hetty's face then I knew it was bad.

"What is going on?" Deeks asks walking up to me, standing close but not touching. "Who was that on the phone?" when he doesn't get his answers from me he turns to Hetty whose eyes are locked onto mine.

We both ignore the team and speak to each other. "What did he want Kensi?" I squeeze my phone so hard I fear that I will break it as I look away from her, to ashamed to look my mother in the eye. When she speaks again her voice is sharper much like when I was young. "Kensi Marie, what did he want?"

This was it…this was when all of my carefully constructed lies and words would crumble around me, I would lose these friendships, I would lose Deeks…I couldn't lose him. I shake my head biting my lip, "I can't Hetty," I whisper softly, but my entire team is close enough that they heard, and I could feel the tension radiating off of them.

"The time for secrets is over Kens," Hetty says in her motherly tone. "Your time is up, you knew this day would come, somewhere in that head of yours you knew that you couldn't keep this secret forever." She walks around her desk as I collapse onto my chair. Her aging hand extends but I pull away.

"Don't please," I whisper.

"What did he want Kensi?"

Finally I look up and look my mother straight in the eye and said, loud enough so the team could here. "Johnny wants his genius girl back. He uh, said he neutralized Henry not long after I…" I learn back in the chair and look up towards the ceiling and the team, the whole Mission melted away…

My world of secrets was falling apart, I was about to lose everything…but if Johnny knew I was an agent he knew of my team, knew of Deeks, my partner.

I was to either tell the team and lose them, or not tell them and lose Deeks….Unfortunately a 'side-effect' of a genius brain was that my anger, though usually controlled, flared when I was faced with emotional conflicts. It was always easier to ignore feelings and think of everything scientifically, but like my father said about a week after my mother left, I, though smart, am an incredibly emotional being. I would protect my family no matter the costs, I would rather take a bullet a hundred times over rather than see that sad look on Deeks' face….

Feeling a surge of anger at the vision of Johnny standing over Deeks drives me to my feet and Hetty backs up. I can't stay still so I pace the small space in front of Hetty's desk. "He knows I am an agent. There is no one that can hack us, so how does he know?" I whisper to myself.

"Hetty what is going on?" Callen asks but his voice is muffled as my thoughts continue to swirl.

 **A. Grayson**


	5. Genius Girl Revealed

**Oh I know, bad Grayson, bad. I know this is a Sunday updated fic and the last two Sundays have been absent but you know how life can be and you know how hard it can be to find time to write. But I am back and I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

 **And because I can't write without some kind of back plot between other characters here we see a bit of a hurting Nell, but the reason is not to be revealed yet, for I do not know the reason yet myself. If you have any ideas I would gladly listen :)**

 **Genius Girl Revealed**

Chapter 5

 **Nell's P.O.V**

I had just hopped into Eric's truck when my phone rang, with Hetty's name flashing on the screen. "Morning Nell," Eric said in a chipper voice grading down on my hangover, a dire side-effect of far too many drinks from the night before, dear god why did I drink the tequila? "Are you going to answer?"

I shake the fogginess from my head and hit the green button, "Nell," I clear my hoarse throat.

"Ms. Jones, tell Mr. Beale to step on it, we have a high priority case." I heard Hetty quickly say before hanging up, I was vaguely aware of Kensi's voice in the background, it was low and weary.

"Step on it Beale we have a case and it sounded…."

"Nell are you hungover?" I heard the concern tainting his voice.

"No I am not Beale, you should really focus on your driving," I say through my sore throat, to much of the throwing up in the early hours of the morning.

"This is the third time this week I have picked you up hungover Nell, I am really starting to worry," Eric said as we pull into the Mission parking garage.

I push open the truck door than with more force than strictly necessary, and take notice that everyone is quickly walking into the Mission wanting to get a jump start. Before following after the team I turn to Eric and whisper menacingly. "Yea well you do not have to worry Eric."

Walking into the Mission with Eric hot on my heels I see Kensi pacing with her phone pressed to her ear. I saddle up next to Deeks far away as I can get from Callen as we stop just inside Hetty's office. At the sight of Kensi's white knuckles as she held her phone to her ear chased away my hangover. But what really woke me up was the sudden anger that flashed in her eyes, it was dangerous, cold and menacing.

"I swear if you fucking lay a finger on him I will make you regret it, I know you have not forgotten what a Marine's daughter can do, Johnny. I can ruin you physically and financially. I can taint you all over the web. Every whore across the country will know who you are and every cop will be looking for you. I. Will. Ruin. You." My mouth falls open at Kensi's words, I mean did she really think that I would ruin some guys cyber life just because she asked….okay I would because it is Kensi but really a bit of a warning would be nice.

Looking back to Kensi I see her tense even further and she turns sharply to Hetty. "How do you know I am an agent?" she whispers to Hetty, whose eyes widen and our petite boss stands up and a look I had never seen passes through her eyes, it is a look of severe determination and it is directed to Kensi.

"What is going on?" Deeks asks walking up to Kensi, I notice once again that he refrains from touching her, not even a brush of the shoulders. But Deeks' question goes unanswered as Kensi and Hetty intensely stare at each other.

"What did he want Kensi?" Kensi remains silent and fuming despite the boss asking her a question. If anything it made Kensi tense up even more if that was even possible. "Kensi Marie, what did he want?" her tone turns almost motherly

"I can't Hetty,"

"The time for secrets is over Kens," Hetty says in her motherly tone. I look over the team and notice that they to have picked up on the shift in their relationship "Your time is up, you knew this day would come, somewhere in that head of yours you knew that you couldn't keep this secret forever." She walks around her desk as I collapse onto my chair. Her aging hand extends but Kensi pulls away.

"Don't please," I whisper.

"What did he want Kensi?"

"Johnny wants his genius girl back. He uh, said he neutralized Henry not long after I…" Genius girl? Was someone after me? I know I am smart, the smartest in this building…but I do not know anyone named Johnny or Henry….

"He knows I am an agent. There is no one that can hack us, so how does he know?" Kensi whispers as she walks behind Hetty's desk and begins to pace as she begins muttering incomprehensible things.

"Hetty what is going on?" Callen asks but I am listening intently to Kensi catching a few words here and there.

"Did I mess up the calculations…Deeks….poor woman…..falling apart…..Deeks…murdered Henry….all my fault…..Deeks….Deeks…he will kill him….Deeks…..I will kill him….."

"Something that is going to take some series explaining Mr. Callen but I believe this story should come from Kensi." Hetty says turning to look at the pacing woman who is still mumbling.

"Kensi's story?" Deeks says perking up, he begins to walk over to Kensi but Hetty stops him.

"That is not a wise idea Mr. Deeks, when in this mood Kensi can be quiet volatile, it is best to just let her wear herself out or crawl her way out of her thoughts." She begins shooing us from her office. "Now go to your desks while I watch over her."

"Hetty what is going on? Is someone after me?" I ask softly after the others have left. The fact that someone wants their genius girl back sent my heart racing.

All Hetty does is smile softly before gently grabbing my hand. "No my dear,"

"But she said genius girl, and I mean I do not want to see self-centered but I am the smartest person at OSP."

"Not the smartest Nell," Hetty says softly looking over her shoulder to Kensi before turning to me and gently guiding me away from Kensi. "It is best to wait for Kensi to come around before we begin this long walk down memory lane, for it is a long, sad, painful story." We stop at the opening of the bullpen everyone hanging on to Hetty's every word. "Kensi has had a hard life, many betrayals, just remember that when she tells you her story because her biggest fear is this secret coming out and you all hating her."

"We could never hate her," Sam says as he turns away from Kensi back to where Hetty and I were standing.

"I could never hate her," Deeks whispers I watch as Deeks follows her every move. "What is she doing? I have never seen her like this." he asks turning back towards to Hetty.

Hetty's answer was her turning away from us and walking over to the entrance of her office keeping a large berth between her and the mumbling female agent leaving us all to wonder about what was about to happen and if Kensi's strange behavior had anything to do with the urgent case Hetty called about.

 **Callen's P.O.V**

About an hour after the mysterious phone call from someone called Johnny I notice Nell's bloodshot eyes and slumped posture as she sits on the could next to Deeks who she is silently talking to.

I swivel in Deeks' chair turning towards Sam who is folding a swan out of paper. "Hey what is going on with Nell?" Sam looks over at Nell and strangely no shock registers on his face he merely looks back at me, with irritation no less.

"If you have to ask G then you do not need to know. So how are things with Joelle?" he asks.

But before I can answer that there was no me and Joelle Kensi yelled at Hetty catching all of our attention while making us jump. "How could this happen Hetty!?" seconds later she came rushing into the bullpen. "All of you in OPS," when none of us move she elaborates. "OPS, now or I will ruin all of you alongside Johnny." She grits through clenched teeth before turning and running with all of us right behind her up the stairs.

Walking through the doors Eric and Nell take up their positions by their computers giving Kensi a large berth while walking around her. Sam and I move behind the table while Hetty and Deeks are in front of it, but everyone is watching Kensi her eyes never once looking at any of us.

"Oh god, this isn't easy…."

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

"Oh god this isn't easy…." My eyes move to Nell, almost wincing at the sadness tinging her eyes. I take a deep breath and speak to the red head. "Nell can you pull up a photo of one Johnny Wells and Henry Mack." I request and she begins typing furiously. Seconds later two photos pop up.

Johnny's was a driver's license where he is smiling smugly with his light brown hair falling over his green eyes I feel a strange sense of longing as this is the first time I have seen him since my last day on the street, a longing to feel completely accepted, even if it is to a point, for being smart. I shake my head as Henry's mug shot appears, taken just days before the accident that cost a woman her life.

"Johnny and Henry are what you would call old acquaintances of Ms. Blye's from her teenage years," Hetty spoke when I remained silent. Dear god I do not know how to do this. I peek a glance a Deeks and all I see is worry and love…maybe more love than I know how to handle…

"After my dad died I made some…questionable choices, I stole to eat, I broke in to empty houses for a place to sleep. I broke some hinky guys' leg and arm when he tried to…tried to take advantage of me. Then I ran into Johnny," I motion towards his picture. "I met him after a bout a year on the streets, he was 17 and ran away from home." I sigh sadly. "I thought he was such a nice guy, I mean he made me feel safe." I clear my throat turning away from Deeks and looking back to Henry's picture. "Johnny introduced me to a group of people where they had set up residence in a rundown warehouse. Most were men, there was only one other woman, I always called her the crack whore, because she was to busy either getting high or sleeping with men in the group to ever bother really introducing herself to me.

I stayed there for a few weeks, coming and going as I saw fit, then eventually I became one of them, I helped them with…certain things and in return they protected me, gave me a dysfunctional family environment. Sometimes after a successful day they would get drunk and I would have to fend some of them off if I wasn't in the mood but they were good to me, Johnny was good to me…."

"Did you love him?" Deeks asks, his voice was timid and reminded me so much of a young boy asking his father not to hit his mommy anymore. I turn to him and can see the pain in his eyes, in his stance.

"No, Deeks I didn't love him…." Deeks' sharp words cut me off.

"But you let him touch you, unless you were just having sex the completely wrong way." He growled and glared right back at him.

"Do you think I liked his touch!" at the raising of my voice the others shrink back. "I hated him touching me, not once in the year and a half that I was with them did I try to get over this ridiculous fear for him! But I am trying for you damnit!" I yell and almost immediately I realize what I just said…it is bad enough that my secret is about to be laid out but now this….why, why did I have to say that. The look on Deeks' face is shock and…is that happiness. "Johnny and I used each other."

"Anyway, something went down, I made a mistake and it…it cost a woman…her life and things just kind of fell downhill from there until I saw my chance to escape them and that is when I broke into Hetty's house and she took me in." I finished fully aware that I left out the real secret.

"Kensi Marie," she said sharply.

"I know Hetty." I take a big gulp of air before delving further into my past and my secret. "The uh group I was in was specialized in breaking and entering and quickly fencing the items for a profit. Before I came along they mostly targeted lower income houses. But when they saw my uh abilities with computers they talked me into helping them hit larger marks by circumventing their security systems so that it would be days before the marks realized they had been robbed. I was their resident genius…their genius girl," I whisper walking over to Hetty and Deeks, worming my way between them without touching them, but I brushed against Deeks' arm feeling the familiar burning sensation before slightly pulling away.

"Genius girl?" Sam asks. "Just how smart are you Kensi?"

I look down at Hetty before answer. "Smart enough to have 3 finished PhDs and one almost done and two master degrees, and I know several languages and I have always been good at hacking." I look up from the ground and see that Deeks has stepped away from me and everyone but Hetty is speechless…cue the rambling….

"PhDs in clinical and forensic psychology and criminal justice, my masters are in criminology and sociology, actually my graduation for the sociology was last Friday. I know Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, Arabic and Hebrew… oh and I am a certified doctor, actually before working for FBI's cyber division I worked at East LA Doctors Hospital in the critical and intensive care unit, but mostly I worked in the E.R I was always able to handle the stress better than most. Then well I was contacted by Cyber Division and started working there until coming here and ….." I felt a hand on my arm and looked down at Hetty before pulling my arm away, she held up a tissue, until that moment I didn't even realize I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Y-you uh…" Callen stumbled.

"Yea how did we…" Sam spoke over him but Deeks' voice was the one heard through all of the broken mumbling.

"Why didn't you tell me? Did you not trust me enough Kensi?" he didn't look mad, at least I think he didn't…god damnit I hate my brain, a normal person can't have this hard of a time reading someone they love…

Ah shit…

 **A. Grayson**


	6. Well Tech

**Another Chapter, yay! I forgot to say in the last chapter that updates on Sundays just do not work that well because I am usually out of Wi-Fi signal. So I will start aiming for the middle of the week either Wednesday or Thursday.**

 **On another note I have a new idea for a group of one shots that I hope to post soon, but I want a few chapters done before I post the one shots. And though it may seem like I am not working on my other stories I really am I promise.**

 **Thanks for all the lovely reviews and I hope you enjoy.**

 **Well Tech**

Chapter 5

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

Now for a woman who has been ridiculed and tossed aside despite my worth, coming to the realization that yes I was in love with a man whose touch burned my skin what the stick that broke the camel's back. As much as I love the rest of my team it was only Deeks I focused on, on that hurt look in those clear blue eyes.

"It wasn't a decision of trust Deeks, please don't doubt that, it was…people either used me, were jealous of me or just flat out hated me because I could do things they couldn't." I stepped between him and the screen holding Johnny and Henry's photo's still, with Deeks' eyes boring holes into them. But when I moved before him he looked me straight in the eye, god he was so close. "I didn't want you to hate me because I didn't tell you, and well I know what it is like to be worked to the bone for a federal agency, there were days at the FBI that I didn't go home. And those people there were jealous because I could handle an entire case alone which led to them hating me."

His gaze adverted from me to the ground between our feet, the room silent save for the hum of the computers and Nell's occasional sniffling. "But I tried to tell you Deeks, so many times."

At that he scoffed, "Yea right, you are just saying that now that you do not have a choice…" he takes a small step back that seems like miles in the small room. I sigh, forgoing that thought of the team here for this little look into our relationship outside of these walls.

"The first time I tried to tell you was when we were undercover as Justin and Melissa and we were sitting on the couch talking about mutate ninja assassins," I wait to see the sudden recognition in his eyes. "Right before that damn kid threw the rock through the window I was working up the courage to tell you, because I was sure it would change the offer you were so willing to give."

"Mutate ninja assassins?" I hear Eric whisper somewhere in the background.

I take a step closer to Deeks. "Over the course of many stakeouts or just nights when we were together at one of our apartments I tried to tell you, all of those times you asked me what I was thinking and then would laugh because you said I looked like a goldfish opening and closing my mouth…"

"That is what you were thinking so hard about?" he says with a small smile.

"Yes, but I was scared and now I have a real reason to be terrified. Johnny can be very dangerous. I mean I spent a year with him and when I tried to leave after Henry killed that woman he slammed my head against the wall and locked me in a room for two weeks," I turn back towards the screen when I turn the conversation back to Johnny, confident that for the moment Deeks' understands my fear.

"Ms. Jones please pull up a background on Johnny." Hetty speaks turning the burning attention away from me. "Johnny may want Kensi back but any genius he has at his disposal is nothing against her," she says pointing towards me, making me smile shyly. Honestly I thought there would be a whole lot of yelling. "Now Mr. Deeks' I believe that Johnny threatened you while speaking with Kensi," I nod when she looks to me. "You both must be vigilant when not within these walls. I want you all to stay together for the next few days until we catch him and shut his organization down. I will set a safe house up and have it stocked with food and clothing, none of you are allowed to go home, and Mr. Hanna I will contact Ms. Hanna and tell her to take a trip to her mother's with your daughter."

Hetty looks to me and pushes me into timidly asking, "And…if you guys will give me your phones I will fortify them against Johnny and whoever is helping them." I feel my cheeks heat but it would see I had no reason for my embarrassment when all the phones were placed behind me with smiles from my team and trust in their eyes.

A few minutes later Nell's computer beeped. She stood from her chair looking much better than she did earlier she begins her detailed look into Johnny's life.

"Okay so it seems that is record is clean save for some parking tickets and a few DUI's. When he turned 23 he started up his business Well Tech…well no wonder he knew you were an agent Kensi," she says glancing in my direction as she turns her findings from her computer to the large screen. A photo of a sleek white and black building popped up. "Well Tech is a software company that is notoriously known for hiring geniuses to enhance the business. There have even been a few people who sued because they were not smart enough to be hired." Nell spoke.

"Mr. Beale tear through that company and look for any suspicious activity." Hetty quickly spoke before giving Nell back the floor.

Nell hit a button on her tablet pulling up a Facebook profile and photos and bank records. "Johnny Wells has amassed quiet a fortune since opening his business. He was married to a woman named Callie Branson," A photo was brought up from a Facebook post of a tall brunette with brown eyes.

"Seems Johnny has a type," Callen says with no judgement towards me. When he realizes what he said might have been offensive he looks at me but I smile and wave him off.

"It seems that way, all the girls who were photographed with Johnny and ended up on face book are brunette with brown eyes." Nell swipes through many photos but I can't stop a gasp as an older photo appears.

"Stop," I bite out pass the lump that has formed in my throat. "That's us…Johnny, Henry and I."

The photo was me squished between two smiling boys as I was scowling at Johnny because he interrupted something I can't remember doing. Neither man was touching me, but their smiles were so genuine, so real and warm.

"This was taken about 6 months before I ran from them…" I whisper.

"The caption on the photo says, 'Two greatest friends from childhood, Henry was like my older brother and Kensi…well she made me see what I could accomplish, it is because of her I created Well Tech. Every man has the one that got away and she is that one.'" Nell says.

"Take it down Nell and find him, I want to have a little chat with Johnny." Sam says when I remain silent.

"On it." she spins around and taps furiously on her keyboard.

"I went through Well Tech with a fine tooth comb and I found nothing to implicate Johnny Wells in criminal activities but I did find discrepancies in his hiring. There are 58 resident geniuses on Well Tech's payroll but on 45 have offices the other 13 are all but dark, I have names and addresses but no photos and no job descriptions." Eric says picking up before the silence could become tense.

"Kensi," Hetty turns to me. "If he has the smartest people in California at his fingertips…" she doesn't finish, I know what she is saying. I feel a small flicker of discontent before I walk over to Eric's computer and begin working.

I feel their eyes as my fingers fly over the keys, my eyes never leaving the screen. What took Eric 7 minutes to find took me 30 seconds. And as I delved deeper and deeper into the under belly of Well Tech I found some…well some damaging information that cops with normal people doing this would have never found.

"Well Tech is making weapons, seriously dangerous weapons and they are not for us." I tap a button and I reveal the dirty secrets of Well Tech.

"How did she do that so fast?" Eric asks the air.

"There are large sums of money coming in from an offshore account that I traced back to the leader of a Mexican Cartel, Carlos Bick, and the ingredients to make anything from bombs to guns to drugs even. Johnny is supplying a drug cartel under the guise of making software. He is using those 13 unaccounted people to make these things and I have no doubt using them to keep himself safe."

"How could they keep him safe?" Deeks speaks up making me turn towards him with a smirk.

"Because they can dig into Carlos Bick's life and find everything and anything, Johnny has every dirty and illegal secret of Bick's. Johnny could turn him into the authorities. He is playing a seriously dangerous game."

"And he has dragged us into it." Hetty says, throwing a cloud of dread over the room.

 **A. Grayson**


	7. Mind vs Body

**Let me tell you, starting classes, job hunting and studying can really put a damper on one's creative juices, really who would have thought that studying 17** **th** **Century corporal punishment for your Corrections class could kill every creative vein in my body.**

 **Anyway I am hopefully back now that I have a routine. Now this might not be my best work but I quiet like it, there is less Kensi the Genius in this one but that is next chapter.**

 **Enjoy**

 **Mind vs Body**

Chapter 7

 **Kensi's P.O.V**

After Hetty's declaration that we were dragged into a deadly game I gathered up the team's phones and ran to Nate's old office, a place that was rarely touched, because really there was so much dust. However the desk which I seat myself at for a few hours a day was clear.

I sat the phones down and just stare at them. Overall the whole reveal went better than I thought, but I could feel discord, a ravine between me and my family.

Between me and Deeks.

I hear a knock at the door moments before I see his golden locks that I want to run my fingers through…but I can't, I physically can't. The mere thought that I might never enjoy his touch no matter how much I want it makes my breath catch in my throat.

"Hey, you ran out of there kind of fast. I just wanted to check and see if you were okay." He says as he shuts the door softly before turning back to me.

"I'm doing okay…considering that someone from my pasts is haunting me." I look up from the array of phones and to him, he had his hands placed on the desks and leaning forward. If his eyes were not soft some would be afraid of his stature.

His eyes are scanning my face trying to determine something, what I do not know. When he finds what he is looking for he leans back slightly, taking the seat behind his legs. "So you and Johnny huh?" my jaw clenches at the mention of his name. I can hear the jealousy tainting his voice.

"That was a long time ago, I have changed."

"Yea now you fight on the side of justice." He meant it to be a joke, normally I would have taken it as a joke, but today…just not today.

"Do you think I liked it? Do you think I like going against everything my father taught me Deeks?" there is a hard edge in my voice.

I see the mirth fall away and the guilt set in. "No Kensi that's…."

"Because I hated it, I hated myself but I had to survive. I did what I needed, I did what I needed….." I whisper the last part putting my face into my hands trying to hide the pain from my partner.

"I know that Kens, I do. But…" and there it was, the but. "I can't believe you never told me, I mean I told you that I used to be a stripper!" he tosses his hands up with a smile but I shake my head.

"That is hardly the same thing," I absently picked up a phone and unlock it and start fortifying it against hackers.

 **Deeks' P.O.V**

 **"** That is hardly the same thing," she says picking up a phone, Nell's phone. I see her fingers absently fly over the keys, it is almost mesmerizing to watch her work so effortlessly.

As she works I take in how she isn't even really focusing on the task she is doing, and it just makes her all the more beautiful. I see a tuff of hair fall and cover the side of her face and I want nothing more than to reach out and curl it behind her ear, but that would require me to touch her. I've been understanding that she doesn't like to be touched and I've tried to not let it hurt but it does sometimes.

Taking a small breath I lean over Nate's old desk causing her to look up, her eyes going wide at seeing how close I am. "I just want to move your hair," I whisper softly. "Can I do that?"

She swallows so thickly that I can hear it and her breath quicken, but I can't tell if from arousal or fear. She nods and I slowly inch closer and raise my hand watching her eyes watch my hand. My fingertips lightly graze her cheek as I push her hair back causing her to gasp. Taking a chance I cup her cheek, this action makes her tremble and her mouth part slightly.

"What does it feel like? When I touch you?" I whisper the question that has always nagged at the back of my brain. I see the urge to pull away in her eyes and posture but she holds still.

"It feels like my nerves are on fire where you are touching. My… my…uh…." She stutters. "My brain wants you to pull away but my body wa-wants y-you to keep t-touching me… it's like a w-war and i-I just wa-want it to s-stop so I can be n-normal…" I can see how hard it is for her to say this, something she has probably only shared with Hetty. I want nothing more than to take her pain away but that's hard to do when my touch is what hurts her. "…and happy." She whispers the last part so quietly I have to strain to hear her.

"Does it hurt?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's just very uncomfortable."

I move to take my hand away when hers flies up and holds it in place. "It's uncomfortable but I… Deeks I want to get used to it. Now that you know I…uh I will need your help. I can't keep living like this…" a single tear falls and I wipe it away with the swipe of my thumb. "I'm so sorry I lied to you, I'm so sorry Marty. Please forgive me." She trembles as she turns her face further into my hand, another gasp escaping her as my hand changes position. At this very moment she reminds me so much of a young child scared of what she doesn't know.

"There's nothing to forgive. I understand Kensi, your reasons were legitimate and real. You are so strong." I walk around the desk and kneel in front of her, my hand still in her grasp. "You are so strong and beautiful. You never have to apologize for protecting yourself."

Her jaw clenches and her eyes squeeze together giving her look as if she is in pain. She pulls my hand away from her face and snatches her own hand back, the sensations becoming too overwhelming to her I think. She gives me a sheepish smile, one that I have never seen before, "Sorry it got to be too much." I rock back on my heels, still looking up at her as her eyes dart to every corner of the room. She looks nervous, and her cheeks are aflame, damn I wish I could read her mind.

Clearing my throat I stand up and her eyes shoot to mine. "I'm going to go requisition somebody to go on a donut and Twinkie run for you and a breakfast one for us alright." I turn to leave when I hear her voice reach my ears.

"Please…uh please don't leave the building without me. I-I uh I know you can take care of yourself but uh…" she stumbles.

"I know Kensi, but the same goes for you. We leave for the safe house together with the others tonight. Don't worry." With that I walk out of the small musty office and make my way down to the bullpen where the rest of the team is standing.

I stand behind a wall and listen in on a conversation I don't think I was intended to hear.

"I can't believe she never told me, I've known her for 8 years," Callen exclaims. "My little sister is a genius, literally." I can hear the hurt in his voice but smile at his title for Kensi, the elusive lone wolf thinks of Kensi like a sister.

"Look G, if she didn't tell Deeks what makes you think she would tell us huh?" Nell snaps, the analyst was extra snippy with the team leader this morning. "If she was too scared to tell the man she loves her big secret she sure as hell wouldn't tell us." Love…

"Love? Do you really think she loves him?" Sam says. Silence, they must be giving him looks. "Well I know she _loves_ him but…"

"I'm with Nell on this one," I hear Eric's voice speak up.

I turn the corner effectively killing the conversation as all eyes turn towards me. "Hey Eric can you ask Mary to go on a breakfast run for us, and tell her to pick up a dozen donuts and a box of Twinkies." I grab my wallet and hand over some money. When he disappears around the corner I turn to the rest of the team.

"Where is Kensi?" G asks.

I point my thumb up the stairs. "In Nate's old office doing something with our phones. I watched her do one…it was pretty impressive." There was a range of emotions on everyone's face.

Nell= awe and bit of jealousy.

Callen= hurt

Sam= understanding but a little bit of disappointment.

"Is she doing okay?" Sam asks.

Knowing that she doesn't want what happened to be broadcasted I simply nod. "Yea she is doing okay, a bit shaken up but when she heard donut she perked right up." I laugh with the team knowing that donuts can bring the female agent out of any funk.

While we wait the team takes seats around the bullpen, lost in their own thoughts about Kensi and her secret.

I look over at Hetty who is perched at her desk with papers strewn across it haphazardly a look of motherly determination in her eyes. Kensi's mother…Hetty has known Kensi longer than she has known Callen…

About an hour later Mary comes rolling in with our requested items. I go to reach my phone but find it gone, Kensi should be done with programing those phones by now, and I mean I watched her finish one in less than a minute.

"Hey where's Kensi?' Nell asks taking a bite out of her sandwich. She looks better now than she did this morning when she was no doubt hungover.

"She's hiding out," I say opening my computer and shooting off an email to her. "She's scared." I say simply, they all know not to bring it up when she comes down, and she will come down for her sweets and breakfast, well brunch really.

Seconds later she comes bounding down the stairs looking put together, there was no visible lingering pain from what transpired in Nate's office earlier. I smile and hold out her breakfast burrito but she blows right by me and grabs a donut. "Ah, ah ah Fern, real food first then you can have your donut and Twinkies."

Her pose is a comical one with a donut just inches from her open mouth as she stares at me over her hand as she takes in how serious I am, and if I am stupid enough to try and take her donut….which I'm not by the way, that's like getting between a momma bear and her cubs. Everyone has paused and are watching us with smiles, but I don't think Kensi really takes note of that.

Finally her mouth snaps closed and in a voice that is almost childlike she whines, "Oh come on Deeks! I think I am entitled to a donut first, it has been a very stressful day and all, what with the secrets and threats." The smile on her face relaxes all of us and chuckles are heard from the bullpen.

"Nope, as your partner it is my duty to watch out for you and I don't care if you are the smartest chick on the Earth," my eyes travel down her length then back up to her darkening features. "You still need to eat breakfast before your snack Sugar bear."

Her eyes narrow the darkness slightly fading but still there behind the defeat. "You won't let this go will you?" I shake my head with a smile. I extend her burrito out and her fingers graze mine briefly, I still see her wince of discomfort but I see that she is silently proud of herself.

She settles herself at her desk and sighs. "Now is as good as a time to answer any questions that I know you guys have." She announces. I can see the trepidation in the team's eyes, not wanting to scare her back up to Nate's office. Genius or not she has a tendency to run.

"I have one," I raise my hand with a smirk.

She turns her disbelieving eyes to me and opens her hands in a 'go for it' gesture.

"What is uh," I tap my chin thinking. "What is 4,986 divided by 63?"

"79.1428," she says seconds later. Nell's jaw drops so fast I think I hear it crack, but it is hard to tell over the other's laughter.

Looking around I see the tension from up in OPS is gone, Kensi's greatest fear was wrong; we didn't hate her, we didn't think she was some sort of freak. No she was still Kick Ass Kensi, Tough as Nails Blye…still beautiful.

My eyes find hers already staring at me, her smile was so big, so happy that I can't help but smile back. But when she turns her head to another question meant to test her intelligence I feel a strong sense of dread settle low in my gut, sending uncomfortable tingles down my spine. Something was going to happen…

 **Hetty P.O.V**

I look up when I hear laughter in the bullpen and see my Alpha team laughing, well everyone but Deeks. I see him staring very intently at the female agent with something akin to protection…

I am torn from my reverie by my phone. "Yes?" I ask the receiver.

 _"Hello Ms. Lange, the safe house is stocked with food and clothes in the requested size. And I am still waiting for the technician to get here to set up…"_

 _"_ The technician is a part of the team, the basic security system will hold them over until she arrives. Thank you for doing this on such short notion."

I place the receiver down effectively ending the conversation. With a sigh I stand up and make my way over to my daughter and my Alpha team.

"Ms. Blye," I announce my presence stopping all conversation. Kensi turns her eyes to me and I can't help but feel relief that she hasn't pulled completely back behind her walls. "You will need to fortify the house against Johnny when you and the team get there tonight. I had someone stock the place with food and clothing so none of you have to go to your places." I turn to Sam. "And Mr. Hanna I have informed your wife of her impending trip."

He nods and a bit of stress is released. "Thank you Hetty." I nod.

"Now, you may not have a case but I do believe that there is paperwork that requires your attention." I clap my hands together and turn to walk back to my desk. When I am halfway there I pause at the sound of Kensi's voice from right behind me.

"Thank you…mom." I look at her over my shoulder and see her sheepish smile.

"Anything for my daughter." We both head to our desks with the hope that everything would be alright, that Kensi's past could be put to sleep, that Kensi's skills with technology and well…basically everything under the sun could save her and her team…her family…our family.

 **A. Grayson**


End file.
